Friday, June 17, 2016

True identity

Over last weekend I was involved in an outreach for 10 young adults at the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary and it was a blessed retreat. Led by Derek Chong (who always inspires me for he lives out his vocation with such joy), A and I had the privilege of leading the gendered sessions for seven young women on Saturday morning.

The topic I had was Who am I and while preparing for it, I was reminded to reclaim my identity as Daughter of the Father and Bride of Christ. I have been able to live out my true identity fairly well these days. However, it is not possible to be completely free of distortions and blockages. That's okay. As long as I keep focusing on Jesus, I will always come home to my true identity for this is what Jesus desires for me. If I desire what he wants, then I will delight in Him and He will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37).

Every woman's true identity is Daughter of the Father and Bride of Christ. The question is whether we all live out our identity as such, meaning we recognize our true dignity as women and demand that we are accorded the rightful respect as women and we, in turn, accord others, especially men, their rightful respect. This entails due recognition of who we are, our feminine genius, and the careful and continued cultivation of our gifts and talents which we then enthusiastically offer to the world in joyful service.

I am woman. I am made for love. I am made for marriage. It does not matter whether I am single or married for I can live out this nuptial spirituality regardless. I like what Megan Twomey wrote:

Whether they are married, living the consecrated religious life, or single, women have a special calling and ability to care for others, to teach them, and to help them to grow.  Women help to birth souls into eternal life, grow disciples, and walk with another toward God. This motherhood does not in any way exclude women from other pursuits, passions, or positions of leadership. A woman's talents do not hinder her ability to mother souls, nor does being a mother prevent her from having a personality or a craft.  Devoting her life to the service of God, whether that plays out in the context of a family or a religious order, does not eliminate her identity as a woman, but enhances it by strengthening her character and purifying her soul.  

We can only accomplish what we are created to do if we do not succumb to the lies that tell us otherwise. I was sharing with the young women that it's hard to ignore what the world tells us on how we should look, talk, and act. The pressure is real, pervasive and insidious. It is hard not to buy into it, especially when as single women, we seem to have a sell by date for marriage. We cannot allow the lies of the world to lead us into compromising ourselves, or our value as women, all the more as women of God.

In staying true to my principles which are founded on Church teaching, I theoretically don't stand a chance in the marriage market, especially since I choose the virtue of sexual purity. But God has seen fit to choose a man for me who reveres Him as much as I do, and the relationship is mutually enriching for Jesus is the lens through which we see each other. Thus we see the gift He sees in each other and we are able to love each other as He loves us. I have never felt so cherished and loved for who I am than during these days of courtship. P affirms my womanhood and strengthens my identity as Daughter of the Father and Bride of Christ every single day. So blessed.

I would like to re-post this FB post by Marcus Peter that encourages every woman to stay true to who she is. Keep battling the lies, and maintaining your integrity. It is worth your while:

Dear Woman of God,

You are special. You are precious. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are... A Woman after the heart of my Father.

I am writing to you to let you know this: your struggle is not in vain.

There are so few of you women of God around. The world needs your witness of Love, when all it does is hurt and bleed.

While women across the world have wanton sex, indulge in substance abuse, swear, drink, club and smoke, you are the ones who help them through those hurts. You help bring them the understanding and healing they need in Jesus. You help them see that you don't want to stone them, you want to embrace them; to Love them.

There are young girls across the world who are being fed lies, that they are only beautiful if they dress a certain way, act a certain way or belittle their worth as women. They need you to show them just how wonderful they are and how amazingly Blessed they are meant to be.

My beloved sister, I know it's hard. Few see the true beauty within you and fewer still appreciate you for it. Please know that we, your brothers, do.

On behalf of every man who has ever belittled you, degraded you, disregarded you or broken your heart, I ask you, please forgive us. We are but boys learning to be real men.

You deserve so much more than you realize. And this is because your truest worth is far beyond what mortal eyes will see. Your truest worth is God's Love for you and your Love for Him.

Please know that we are praying for you. We are each hoping for a woman such as you to share the rest of our lives with in Christ. We want to honour and cherish you as you truly deserve. And we would give our lives to preserve the Grace of God in you.

You are not alone. Your wait is not in vain. You are worth Loving, praying for and waiting for.

Please don't ever compromise or settle for anything less. Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised indeed. You are such a woman.

You give us men of God hope - to persevere and hold strong. You do not see many of us, but we are here, and we are here for you.

Some day, God our Father will fulfill all the deepest desires your heart. Until then, we will hold your hand in spirit, walking this road with you - guarding your heart in Him.

Because you are worth it.

We Love you dearly, please be assured of it.

With all our Love in Christ,
Your Brothers,
Men of God

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